Love Beneath My Will

How could I love someone with so much power, but love myself with so little. How could I continue to be trapped when Jesus died for me. Why do I feel like my love is bouncing off of the walls. Why can't I be free from all the hurt and misery. Why do I feel bound from freedom. Why can't I take these shackles off of my feet. THE LOVE BENEATH MY WILL. I have no control over love, but love has control over me. I just want to be FREE!