LONG DISTANCE

I HAVE BEEN AWAY FOR TOO LONG, THE PAIN HAS HIT ME STRONG. I ALWAYS WANTED TO FLEE THE SCENE, BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID OF WHAT IT WOULD DO TO ME. BUT NOW I WANT IT BECAUSE THIS LONG DISTANCE IS KILLING ME. I NEVER KNEW THE LOVE FOR SOMEONE WOULD MAKE YOU FEEL THIS WAY, BUT SOMETIMES ITS BEST TO STAY AWAY. I TRY TO HOLD BACK MY TEARS BECAUSE THE THOUGHT OF MY CRYING IS THE REALITY THAT MY SOUL IS DYING. I THOUGHT THE PAIN WAS OVER, BUT IT IS TRUE WHEN THEY SAY THAT PAIN IS LOVE...BUT I GUESS I HAVE COME TO A REALIZATION THAT ITS A TRUE STATEMENT BECAUSE JESUS HAS DIED FOR ME. HE LOVED ME SOOOO MUCH, THAT HE GAVE HIS LIFE. NOW THAT'S LOVE. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL ANY MORE, BUT I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER MY FEELINGS. THIS TO SHALL COME TO PASS.

IM SINKING

I dont know how to feel anymore. I want to be happy, but I feel sad, but most of I want to be grateful to be here. I just feel like i died and everyone has forgotten about me. Trying to branch out and do different things, just isn't working. I am trying to stay focus on my priorities and be happy at the same time. I took a nap, and I couldn't sleep because I did not want to be here. I wanted to go out side and enjoy the weather. I wanted to be with my "family" but like i said i feel like the connection is slowly fading away and I won't want the signal back after a while. blah, i just hate feeling this way. It brings me to a point where I become overwhelmed about everything. It makes me start looking and doing things that I really want to do, but is making up for the lack of or a better word that missing piece. One day I will come together.